Monday, May 31, 2010

The Feat

Just drove from Martha's Vineyard, MA to Baltimore, MD packed so tightly in a VW Beetle I had to pull in the last of the items on top of myself, a virtual burial in luggage. It was kind of like a David Blaine feat, buried alive, unable to move an inch, couldn't see or feel my feet, can she take it?!? 9 hours of travel in 90 degree heat with no A/C sometimes couldn't get fifth gear as the shifter was blocked by an apple and Sig water bottle. But we could see out of the windshield and view the chrome like strip of hot concrete stretching for miles across the bug filled Pennsylvania farm land (note only Tom could see out the windshield, I had a huge box full of gaseous explosive car oils in front of me over which I had to strain my neck to see and which if any collison were to occur i would have certainly bought the farm or atleast gone up in a flaming ball of black spew and bile, the airbag couldn't eject either to save me due to this obstruction.) Not to mention the roof rack was loaded to heights approaching Everest with a 40 pound Epson r1900 printer (in its original box), a flat file of papers and portfolios, 2 camping mats, 2 fly roads, and 2 Bianchi bicycles, all held on with shady bungies and the equivalent of cheap closeline, WOOSH! WOOSH!---- there goes my life! I kept imagining it all flying off the front and quickly being run over by us and every sideways slidding car and semi behind us, while we raced down the road like a brightly colored wagon full of gypsies at full speed. A brief and refreshing moment was spent with some watermelon which only intensified my pee-o-meter, I was thinking I needed the catheter and man-diapers used by Marina Abramovic at MoMa, as I too was trapped and staring, only not at a single audience member but at the afore mentioned "box of death". You may have heard the expression, "Go to hell", well we didn't go there but we sure went through the place, still have the synge marks to prove it! Ow, Ow!
We only had 2 out of the possible 4 F's, no Friends, no Family, just F-you and Faith.
Welcome to Baltimore Maryland our new home.

4 comments:

cindy said...

glad you made all in one piece. good luck in your new home!

Giulia said...

Wow, Jamie. I thought I was keeping up with your news...apparently not, as I did not know you were moving just up the road a bit. Welcome to Maryland!

xo

Susan & GG

annechovie said...

I hope you enjoy your new home! xx

Pigtown-Design said...

Jamie! you have friends here, you just haven't met them yet!

welcome to baltimore, hon!