Sunday, August 22, 2010

Immersion into the Surreal (without Salvador Dali)

aka Some kind of freak heat torture day
which concluded in an A/C filled supermarket getting chased around for sampling a red dye #2 cherry slice


After riding around all day in the 91 degree heat and over 50% humidity, the windows down, no A/C and my hair fastened up in a 'Provencal updo" or was it like crazy geeeeeepsy lady Maria Ouspenskaya telling fortunes from the stoop of her brightly painted cart? We must have looked like street people with caked on layers of dust and doughnut smears. What began as a hopeful optimistic day with thoughts of a cool breeze along the Eastern Shore quickly diminished into a swarming mass of idiots in SUVs with weather that could be likened to being immersed in a pot of pea soup, nose deep. Pretty damn sure the SUV idiots thought I-95 meant 95 mph

Lets just say we made it halfway there, with a stop at the BMW motorcycle shop for free doughnuts and thoughts of empty Alpine passes- which were quickly dashed by the commercial broth that surrounded us- We decided to turn back to our cloistered dark cave (the only safe place to be for a critical idealist) with a brief detour to the Mini dealership where it's forever Halloween with at least 20 small bowls of miniature Milkyways, 3 Musketeers, and Snickers, oh real musketeers come and save me and take me to the milkyway, no snickering involved!! Dream on oh fun little car you're not of this world!!

A stop at NTB (we're assuming it means no tires balanced) avoiding a 2 hour wait in an un-airconditioned holding cell, being chased around a lot by a beady-eyed red faced diabetic car salesman at the Toyota place who tried to convince us that our Volkswagen was a piece of shit and we needed a Yaris aka appliance/refrigerator, guess it's ok for storing meat but not driving, once they pry you in JC and all his disciples can't effect a withdrawl. Not to mention the Momen (man-women) or Wan (women-man) that was tailgating us all the way in a burnt out dodge mini van with no hub cabs and a weavy way to its direction, we don't know what it was- was it being driven or guided by aliens from the Mothership with a joy stick?? Not to mention trying to hike at the nature trail but as soon as we pulled up we were told that our car was a homosexual and because we owned it we were too- ok lets go to the graveyard, which found me laid out on the lichen covered stone wall like those entombed within, trying to absorb their sense of peace. The only place where the remains of sane people are left! "I am a lonely painter, I live in a box of paints" thanks Joni, go figure!

1 comment:

vivienne strauss said...

I love your stories. My husband and I work from home as well so it often happens when we go out into the "real" world, it feels very much like hell. We always come home vowing not to leave again but we eventually do.