The Art Patron

As an artist you can only hope she loves your, "reputation built up by a gallerist", I mean work.

News Flash: Andrea Bocelli crashes rented white vespa GT250ie through kitchen wall...

..of highly decorated Long Island split level home, killing morbidly obese family cat Snowball and terrifying Grandma and angering Mother who is preparing dinner.

No apologies were made, authorities believe he made a successful escape to LGA and is on an Alitalia flight en route to Firenze

(Verification of these statements to be investigated by Inspector Clouseau...) Update: Artist rendering now available

Black Friday Special

santa cat and envelope, originally uploaded by jamieshelman.

Stay home and shop online! 20% off entire shop, discount code BLACKF today ONLY!!!

Terrified with a turkey leg

We believe it was an improper internal temperature of the thigh meat therefore inducing salmonella, we hear he's in satisfactory condition

Happy Thanksgiving!

More of a pest than a bringer of zest!

That fat gut is from raiding your pantry whilst you sleep!

NEW hand painted Santa Cat Cards !

Order a set for yourself or a friend! pssst gift packaging available ;)

(I needed a great little card to go with my calendar!)

This is how I'll look after turkey tomorrow...

Crowds applauded his Genius but hated his gas...

Those weak paws are only good for pushing more food into his gaping maw.

Find a new print of Timmy here

Late night cravings

Eggs Florentine @ Flea Market Cafe, NYC by togflx

Croissant @ Tartine, San Francisco by mintyfreshflavor Meat! @Pastis, NYC by bellacardim errrggghhh mmm R.I.P.

NEW 2010 Cat Calendar!

WOOHOO!

A selection of my favorite prints.

Now available here!

Great Horned Owl spotted in Central Park!

It's amazing that something so wild and primitive can exist just steps away from something like Bergdorfs or The Plaza Hotel! See more here at Urban Hawks

Remember Trouble Owl he's kind of little and bitchy nothing like the Great Horned! More rotten than regal. He's a true argument for nature over nurture. More likely to be seen keying cars or stealing their GPS systems after breaking in with a coat hanger than sitting regally on a moonlit branch. As J. Cash said Mama Tried 

Speaking of owls we heard a Screech Owl the other night, deep in the state forest that's behind us!

Ghost Ranch

Ghost Ranch, originally uploaded by jamieshelman.

My New Mexico look

The September Issue

Grace by Tom

After long anticipation and much waiting the movie The September Issue just happened to pop up at our backwoods theatre in Vineyard Haven, not so backwoods after all! The movie was not in any way disappointing, (which is odd to say for a movie, usually more disappointments than pleasant surprises!) The first impression is that it's just for fashionistas, but it's not. If you have any patience, which I sense that few people do, and any interest in intense personal interactions, the tensions between head editor Anna Wintour and fashion editor Grace Coddington are a masterpiece in the act of orchestrating different sensibilities to bring out a very high-end single package ie Vogue.  Beneath all the glamour the true value lies in all the movie's captured fine details, a twisted corner of the mouth by Wintour or a cough and raised eyebrow by Coddington are priceless non-spoken indicators of the condition which brings about what we see every month in Vogue. The September Issue is very revealing and intensely entertaining when picking up on the details, get past the big steak of Fashion and find the true morsel of carmelized gravy that lies in its nuances. Very much like the magazine, scan the advertising and hunt for the gems buried in the glop. But it is such pretty glop.

Candy Cane Love

Felted candy canes by feltcafe

Candy cane marshmallow by cannelle-vanille

Queen Peppermint of Candy Cane Lane by uneekdolldesigns

Candy Cane Dance Troupe (new card set) by me!

I LOVE candy canes! And I love all of these candy cane inspired pieces! 

Candy cane, CANDY CANE, ha ha ha ha ha!

Thieving no talent bastard!

candy cane cat cards, originally uploaded by jamieshelman.

It's Fantastic Mr. Cat! Where do you think the fox got all his moves? New holiday cards fresh off the press! Pre-order your set here!

Fart jokes and Jimmy Stewart

What's so wonderful about any f-ing weekend if it doesn't involve winning the lottery?!

poop! by moggierocket

Flapjack sunning himself by fenlandsnapper

Pet my belly by UNIFORM Studio

These cats will waste your money on scratchoffs and miniatures!

ps this weeks giveaway winner (via random number generator) is Bonbon Oiseau! woohoo!

Meet the Bleeker St. Dandy

The Bleeker St. Dandy, originally uploaded by jamieshelman.

Giveaways!

Riding in the rain

Giveaway alert! There's not just one but TWO giveaways of my work happening this week over at Pikaland and Bliss

Stop by and check it out! A huge thanks to Amy and Mrs. French for hosting my work on their beautific blogs!

And if you haven't entered the giveaway below for Stephanie's awesome Cat Ornaments do so now!

Coco avant cancer

We finally saw Coco Avant Chanel A lot of classic French cigarette addiction to gauloises and Gitanes, very invasive am going for chest x-rays next week. The cinematography and visuals of the movie were very engaging although the screenplay and acting seemed to stereotype some of the situations in Chanel's early life, ie young ambitious orphaned ingenue meets zirtee old man (both played to the stereotypical max) and becomes booming success via her compromises with the filthy beast. Don't know if the reality was this cut and dried. In the end the visuals of the dreamy summer haze filled French countryside, vintage cars, and of course Chanel's classic haute couture clothing lines rescued the movie from its straight forward presentation of her life's circumstances. 

Here's a soundtrack clip from the movie Coco singing l'Trocadero

If you feel a need to smoke when the movie is over please resist!

Win Us! Trois chats du peeps cleanere!

I love these Chenille Cats Christmas Ornaments by Stephanie of Old World Primitives with Victorian cat heads, fat huggable bear bodies (not too hard or you'll crush them!) and a lot of funness going on who could resist! I had to have them and now you can too! Simply visit Stephanie's etsy shop and leave a comment below, winner will be announced on Friday!

Weekend WOW- Mommy I'm bored

See La Danse @ Film Forum in NYC (A newly released documentary about the Paris Ballet which investigates all of the proceedings that lead up to a final performance!) No tripping in this one, unless it's to d'light fantastique!

Carry around your wine tote (seen @Cup of Jo and found here) from the store to your house on foot with style, no tapping on the street, it's illegal, it's not a classy brown bag and don't ever ever drive your SUV while this is in your possession! btw it has a map of Manhattan on the back in case someone finds you stumbling they can deliver you to the pre-circled arrow on your handy street grid (I live here!)

Throw a tea-party with lots of Jam (spotted @ A Day That Is Dessert)

or go for a bike ride , get all big and flash that glare. Scare a few neighborhood dogs, keeps them on their toes! (Sort of like Kato and Inspector Clouseau)

Have a great weekend!

It's like Twilight, you don't know whether the vampire's gonna bite you or screw you

Lucia

Inspired by Bram Stoker's Dracula which was the star of horror movies on Halloween night, yuck, with Gary Oldman's double bun up-do freakshow

"the saddest pumpkin ever" was disappointed by the moral standards of the vampires as well. (photo by ashleyg)

Paint your ass and drag your butt, you non-creative bitch!

All heart and soul, beep, beep, beep, turn off modem, turn off modem, turn off modem... Better to save that money you would have wasted on art for that nice condo in West Palm Beach when your 80, god willing. 

btw I think Dwell magazine should be re-titled "Dwell In Your Mind Neurotic", or "Get Out of Your Box F&#$ Head!"

News Flash Sir Edmund Hillary found reading Dwell, nuh-uh...

Hi, leafy face

"Hi, leafy face" by fine little day I love this photo! Nature is so inspiring! View my recent flickr gallery for more: Your moment of zen

NYC Marathon

Woman considers gender issues and carries her nationality, as Christ carried the cross, while running the NYC Marathon. Being French obviously means more than liking pomme frite and foie gras. It's sort of funny but losing those toe nails won't be! (Carrying the eiffel tower for 26.2 miles! Think bang, bang, bang, bang, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch.) And I thought me toes hurt from wearing 2 pairs of wool socks! At one point we heard that Lance circled this person with his arms in the air fist pumping and shouting number 8, number 8! 

(See more photos of the marathon here by Whimsy & Spice)

Strawberries print close up

strawberries print close up, originally uploaded by jamieshelman.

yay, first batch of prints have arrived and they look amazing! I'm bustling around photographing, uploading, editing ack, super excited though! Visit my shop here to see more of these little berries!

Coffee Time

Ace hotel, NYC, originally uploaded by jamieshelman.

Hope you had a happy halloween...

...we had a swelled one!